neutralchaos1:

clarisimart:

veliseraptor:

it’s the most wonderful time of the year: the Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award

I AM DYING!!!
AND THESE ARE ALL WRITTEN BY MEN, PUBLISHED AUTHORS, SO I DON’T WANT NOBODY COMPLAINING ABOUT SEX SCENES WRITTEN BY FANGIRLS EVER AGAIN!!

In case anyone was wondering why they should click the link, here’s a gem for you

“”Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.“