Imagine your local trickster God being gay omg…. He just walks in like “oh snap girl! What’s the tea!” and he’s wearing cuffed pants and conditions his hair
You know what’s sad, before I even read this article I was ready to refute this because I grew up believing Chuck Berry created Rock and roll. It’s said how so many knew of this great woman yet none spoke on her greatness.
I also discovered Big Mama Thornton, who’s another hugely influential early inventor of rock and roll — I’m pretty sure Hound Dog was originally popularized by her, before Elvis stole it.
yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.
wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.
america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.
im not gonna stop reblogging this until this is the next Hot Fanon
english muggles come back to england and suspicious wizards meet them at the airport.
‘did you witness any strange or inexplicable acts while you were in america?’ they demand.
the english muggles just laugh in their dumb fucking faces. mate, it’s america.
what’s the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?
english wizard: *two hour lecture on legal history*
american wizard: six beers
@jumpingjacktrash congrats ive read hundreds of comments on this dumpster fire of a headcanon and yours is the best
thank you my patronus is a monster truck
I have reblogged this I don’t even fucking know how many times but I still completely lose it every time I see the words “My Patronus is a monster truck” because that is the most AMERICAN thing I’ve ever seen in 29 years of being ‘merican.
you’ve heard of mom friends now get ready for: Anti-mom friend. they suggest every single impulsive thought that runs thru their head like “hey what if you jumped in that pond in the middle of the night” to the group while the mom friend begs them to stop
Exodus from the blue hellsite 