neutralchaos1:

clarisimart:

veliseraptor:

it’s the most wonderful time of the year: the Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award

I AM DYING!!!
AND THESE ARE ALL WRITTEN BY MEN, PUBLISHED AUTHORS, SO I DON’T WANT NOBODY COMPLAINING ABOUT SEX SCENES WRITTEN BY FANGIRLS EVER AGAIN!!

In case anyone was wondering why they should click the link, here’s a gem for you

“”Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.“

elodieunderglass:

missbuster:

meret118:

elodieunderglass:

sighinastorm:

burningmanonacid:

elodieunderglass:

I felt like I needed to clarify some things before we could continue any more conversations on this godforsaken website.

I’m very proud of the European Robin, I think I really captured it.

ALSO A DADDY LONG LEGS is different in the UK vs USA. I learned that by arguing with some Brits because they said there was a daddy long legs on the wall, i looked and only saw an insect, argued with them all for 45 minutes until we all looked it up and saw that we were both correct.

British badger:  jovial fellow, eats toast and jam.  Might invite you in for a cuppa with the Mrs.  Agricultural nuisance.

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American badger: pallas cat of a wolverine.  Very defensive.  Fuck immediately off. 

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Bonus African badger:  Silverback gorilla of mustelids.  Should be a cryptid.  Bro, don’t even.  You are nothing to him.

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an extremely good post addition

Australian possum 

American possum

Ooh I’m on mobile in a parking lot can someone do the elk-wapiti-caribou-reindeer thing?

That is such a good summary! This is something I like too, https://elodieunderglass.tumblr.com/post/150162199938/i-feel-like-people-need-to-know-the-great-moose?is_related_post=1 although I’ve since learned that historical accounts of Swedish moose-riding were probably reindeer-riding that became exaggerated, and the only truly successful moose-riders were Russian.